Ich will kein Inmich mehr sein

Text: Birger Sellin
Radio Adaptation & Production: Darren Copeland
Voice: Sebastian Schäfer
Acting Coach: Ulrike Götz
Text used with permission from Kiepenheuer & Witsch

Ich will kein Inmich mehr sein is a radio adaptation of a book written by the German autistic mute Birger Sellin between 1990 and 1992. Sellin cannot communicate his thoughts verbally in conversation. Instead he uses facilitated communication (ie. he sits at a keyboard with a trusted loved one (in his case his mother) and receives actual physical assistance in typing out his thoughts). Living in a box or a crate is how he describes his experience.

This radio work models the general form of the book, but some changes have been made to the chronological order of journal entries that are used in the book. The piece begins with a discovery of language and communication as Sellin first learns to use facilitated communication as a teenager. This presents him with a mixture of emotions including euphoria and frustration. Once he becomes accustomed to writing, a floodgate of thoughts and emotions open up that had been vented up inside him for fifteen years. He comments on how difficult it is to communicate his true feelings in real life situations, but enjoys being able to convey what is on his mind through written words. From this point on he turns to analyzing his interactions with society and looking for avenues for improvement. After reaching some pretty low emotional depths, he finds a way out and by the end, he discovers that his writing facilitates a better understanding of autism by the general public. He also recognizes that writing can enable him to reach other people and make social and intellectual connections that were not possible before.

Ich will kein Inmich mehr sein was created in 2005 in the original German as part of the Trans Canada festival at the ZKM media arts center in Karlsruhe, Germany. An English interdisciplinary stage version is currently in the works to be presented in October 2008 by Threshold Theater in Toronto.